Sausage Casing

You know what a man should never see?   A woman, specifically a significant other, putting on tights.  I wiggle, shimmy and dance to pull the tights over my soft legs eventually pulling the waist of the tights as high as they will go. 

The waist of the tights are secured under my bra.  I make every effort to prevent the waist of the tights from slowly rolling down my midsection exposing the softness tucked neatly inside. 

The sheer nature of tights leave nothing to hide.  Panties are frequently wadded up underneath and the squeezed shape of my body begs to be let loose. 

It just shouldn’t be seen.

I’m going home.

Tomorrow, I will be boarding a flight to the small, Southern town I will always consider home.  My excitement cannot be expressed in words.  It is my annual mid-year trip to spend time with my parents, brother and his family and high school girlfriends.  I always get the warm and fuzzies as I walk out of the airport into the heavy, humid air to wait for my parents’ imminent arrival.  The hour and half drive home is filled with a lot of laughter and catching up; it’s a wonderful welcome. 

Seriously, I can’t wait.

Fifty Shades of Grey – My Review

**Warning: Spoiler Alerts in this post**
 
When I first heard of Fifty Shades of Grey, I was immediately intrigued.  Being a Danielle Steele reader, I knew this book would be right up my alley.  It sounded like a steamier, NC17 version of her books.  I am also a pop culture nut.  If someone is talking about the latest show or fad, I am on the bandwagon faster than you can snap your fingers.  I like to be in the know.  I find the show Dancing with the Stars boring, yet I read about the show weekly so I can keep up in water cooler conversations.  It really is a sick obsession. 
 
I couldn’t wait to get my hands on the book.  Unlike most women, I was not embarrassed to read it.  I had no need to wrap it in a paper bag to hide the cover or act like I had never heard of the book.  In fact, I have talked about it a lot, much to the dismay of anyone participating in the conversation.  I don’t understand why sex makes people so uncomfortable but that’s another conversation. 
 
I finished the book a few weeks ago.  And just like the Twilight series, I am developing a love/hate relationship for the story and its characters. The book is about Anastasia Steele, a young lady on the cusp of graduating college with aspirations of a career in journalism.  When her roommate, Kate, the yearbook editor is unable to make an interview with the renowned, elusive multimillionaire Christian Grey, she sends Ana in her place.  Ana begrudgingly obliges and heads to Seattle for the interview.  It is here she meets Christian Grey, the most beautiful man with deep auburn hair and gray eyes.  His beauty mesmerizes and silences everyone that meets him, including Ana.  She stutters through the interview, yet impresses Christian.  He is as equally mesmerized by Ana, as she is by him.  

 
When Christian invites Ana to stay for a tour after the interview, she politely declines missing a blatant cue that he is interested, which becomes a common theme in the book.  Christian stalks Ana throughout the story and is borderline obsessive, yet, Ana is always insecure about his feelings.  This insecurity stems from Christian’s dark secret – his need for a dominant/submissive relationship.  He entered his first relationship at the age of fifteen as a submissive to a forty-year old woman.  While he sees nothing wrong with the fact he was sexually abused, and in fact praises “Mrs. Robinson” for saving him, Ana, as well as myself, is very disturbed by this discovery.   After six years as a submissive, he moved on to become a dominant.  Continue reading

My 1st Guest Post!

My 1st Guest PostLast week, I stumbled upon a great post on the blog I Thought This Would Be Easier.  In the post, Jamie outlined her five most epic falls.  The first fall happens due to her hatred of pants.  She was four years old running through the house with her arms laced through the legs of her underwear – penguin style.  You’ll need to read the post to find out what happens next but all I could think about while I read it was our common interest – a mutual hatred of pants. 

While Jamie learned her lesson at the age of four, I did not learn mine until the age of 13 during a car accident that turned into a comedic scene involving two teenagers – one of them being waaay under dressed, a parakeet, a black lab and a minivan.   Intrigued by my comment, Jamie asked me to tell the story in full via a guest post on her blog.  I was beyond flattered and could not wait to tell my story, which is featured on her blog today.

I consider this a big day!  I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

The Book Club

“How many pages do you have left?” Tom asked.  I was curled up on the couch, book in hand.  I looked at him with a concerned smile.  

“I’m only 43 pages in…I’m screwed.  I have almost 300 pages left.” 

“Elyse, your meeting is tomorrow!  What are you going to do?”  He asks sitting down next to me to turn on the tv.  My new favorite show was starting.   How was I supposed to finish reading when Being Human was starting?  I wondered if I could pull it off if I didn’t read the book.  It didn’t take much convincing.  Yes, I think I could.  I dog-eared my book and settled in for a night of tv on the couch. 

He nudges my leg.  “You have been so excited about this.  You started this club.  You need to finish the book.”  I pick up the book to examine it and wrinkle my nose.  Why was it so hard for me to do something when there was a due date associated?  A due date I set, no less.  

Tom and I recently made it official.  I moved in with him three months ago.  His house is in the suburbs an hour north of the city.  Nothing makes me happier than getting to wake up next to him every day.  I adore living together.  We go on long walks with his (our?) dog.  I love living in an actual house with a garage and a yard.  Last summer, we tried our hands at gardening.  I insisted on growing pumpkins, which promptly dominated the garden – a rookie mistake.  I have a car for the first time in a decade.  Life is great but after a few months, I miss my friends.   Continue reading