I had a dream about my blog last night. I miss it. It has been a few weeks since I have taken a moment to write. I wish I had some great excuse like Sam peed on my computer but in reality, my absence is because life got in the way, particularly my job.
When I started this blog, I was bored. I had been in the same role at work for too long. I loved my job but it was no longer mentally stimulating. My life had turned into Groundhog Day. All I thought about during my twenty-five minute commute was what I was going to write next. I had mental lists of all of my favorite stories, reoccurring posts, which friend I was going to introduce next. In my mind, I had laid my life out in a never ending story. Every day was a new experience. My stories were going to be new and old. And they were endless.
When I got to work, I wrote. I mindlessly answered emails while keeping a draft open with my next post. I sat in meetings day dreaming about my post, editing it in my mind. I thought of ways I could make it better or better yet, how I would tell the story in person. I read the words over and over; I read them out loud. I spent my days perfecting every word, every sentence. Tom teased me that Word Press had created a monster. He was right.
I had not felt this rejuvenated in a long time. It felt good to think again.
Not long after I started writing, the rumblings started at work. Things were changing. There were a lot of hallway conversations speculating what was coming. Was it going to be good or bad? Are we all going to make it through? There was an uneasy feeling around the office. But as things started to unfold, we realized the changes were going to be good. For me? It was really good. All of my hard work had paid off and my complacency noticed – I was promoted. And just like that, my focus shifted from my blog to work.
I can’t stop thinking about work. The bar has been raised. I have to prove myself once again if I am ever going to get to the next level. I want to be successful in my career. But I also want to be successful in blogging.
So here I sit. Tom is next to me watching Game of Thrones. Sam is asleep on his dog bed. My feet are up and the computer is on my lap. The glow of the computer screen highlights my smile. It’s exactly how it was a few weeks ago. I’ve missed it.