I’ve always known I have a smaller than average head. I challenge you to find an adult hat that fits my head properly. I usually end up looking like a baby who’s Dad put his baseball hat on him for kicks. The same goes for sunglasses. In a low point of my teenage years, I was still buying children’s sunglasses. It was a huge score when I found a style suitable for a sixteen year old. Most of them were pink with rhinestones and princesses or the latest Disney stars. I can’t tell you how stoked I was when big sunglasses came back in style. I had unintentionally been wearing them for years.
I never gave much thought about my small head outside of buying sunglasses. I didn’t even bother with hats. I was happy being ignorant of my small head until one day a woman ruined it for me. Because of her, I didn’t wear dangly earrings for years; in fear they would make my head appear smaller. She did a real job on me. And yet, it’s one of my favorite stories.
I was working at Nine West minding my own business behind the cash register. Two ladies brought their shoes to the counter, and I eagerly greeted them. I always liked working the register because pressing buttons is fun. I got straight to business opening the boxes to check the shoe sizes and to make sure there was a left and right shoe.
As I’m checking the second pair of shoes, I hear Lady 1 say to her friend, “Maaan, that guuuurl got the smallest head I evah seen.” Lady 2 looked at me and giggled.
“Hey, uh, I’m standing right here. I can hear you.” Lady 1 smiles.
“Guuuurl, you seriously got the smallest head evaaah. Maaaan.”
She ruined me for years.